Our Engagement Photos!

First all credit for this amazingness goes to Lauren Scotti (www.laurenscotti.com).  She is the genius behind both our engagement and wedding photos (I have those too and l can’t wait to share!) And to say I am obsessed is a huge understatement. One of my favorite moments has been when I am sitting at my desk and my laptop screensaver comes on flashing a mixture of both photo sets. I find myself watching the screen like a movie and loving every single one, every single time. I will cherish these forever. 

engagement photo
engagement photo
engagement photo

I want to share a few highlights and the story behind the photos, not only because they are so dang awesome but also because we almost did not take them at all. 

I mean… come on…  we almost did not take these?? 

engagement photo

We were engaged in March just before the California stay at home in order and in a time when COVID-19 was on the top of everyone’s mind.  We knew we were not going to have a long engagement and set our sites on August for our wedding.  We found an amazing wedding planner and secured my dream photographer.  By then we were approaching two months from our wedding date and the schedule was tight.  Unfortunately there were also restrictions in place in the state on outdoor activities, venues and other businesses- including photographers.  We were unsure if we were actually going to be able to move forward even if we planned a date unless these restrictions were altered.  

engagement photo
engagement photo
engagement photo

As with everything in life during this time my hopes were to proceed but knowing that it may not happen put a little damper on the excitement. In the back of my mind were thoughts like: Do we really need more photos of us? What about the added cost? Our wedding is so close… shouldn’t we just wait and call it a day?  Honestly how many photos of ourselves do we really need there are only SO MANY WALLS in our house?! Haha.  

So I naturally did what everyone would do in such circumstance.  I googled it.  “Do you really need engagement photos” “Why get engagement photos” and so on.  I read all the blogs, articles and theories I could find.  The answers were variable and solidified that my thinking was similar to many brides before me.  Next I asked my fiancé, wedding planner, friends, random strangers I passed on the street…. okay not really the strangers part but almost. 

Reflecting further got me nowhere.  Finally some business were allowed to open locally and it was during my first haircut in months I heard something that first stuck.  My hairdresser said not getting engagement photos was the one thing she regretted from that period of time before she was married. She said there was something to be said for having those photos to represent that time of your life. Boom, loud and clear.  My wedding planner also encouraged us to have more time to work with our photographer to get used to the direction in front of the camera prior to our wedding day.  She also recommended it because “Sometimes it’s nice to have nice photos where you are not wearing a wedding dress”, haha!  Seriously, as an adult other than my terrible work ID photo when do you get professional photos taken? Never. 

Once California eased restrictions we worked with our photographer to find a location, talk vibe etc.  I trusted her implicitly to guide us having seen her prior work. I sent thoughts on some casual jeans/tshirts and a little flow dress I had ordered. In the back of my mind I also had a dreamy jumpsuit ordered for our rehearsal reception from Rime Arodaky.  And when I say dreamy, I mean DREAMY!  By now we had realized that the dream wedding was postponed until 2021 and I decided this jumpsuit deserved to not be in my closet for a whole year waiting to be worn…  I sent pictures of all options to our photographer.  She suggested all 3 and had a space in mind in downtown LA.  Done deal.

engagement photo

If you have never been to the fashion district in DTLA it is similar to that area in New York or think crazy street vendors, lots of traffic on small streets, people walking everywhere and overall a very high energy urban environment.  We arrived with our luggage in hand and masks on.  Yes, luggage.  Unfortunately I am very good at dressing myself but dressing a man for a photo shoot was another story.  The one thing I figured out was for my dreamy jumpsuit (our most formal) I wanted him in a dark suit.  Which is actually another funny story.  A few nights before I had him pull out his current suits to try on for the shoot… And we realized immediately that he looked like he was trying on his father’s clothes as a kid.  They were HUGE! Haha. Have mercy.  We rushed down to Suit Supply (who had made his wedding suit… more on that in another post) and ordered him one as quickly as possible.  Looking at the photo above I think they pulled it off.

engagement photo
engagement photo
engagement photo

So there we are in downtown LA and head inside the studio.   Another photo shoot was finishing up. “How insane is it we get to do this” kept running through my mind.  The space was open and white, grand and urban, and very, very cool.  The light coming in was amazing.  I will never forget what an amazing experience it was to be able to use a professional studio in downtown Los Angeles, dress up and work with such an amazing photographer. We had a blast. Here we are behind the scenes before images and our reward after…

I received the photo set 11 days before the wedding. I am so happy we took the time, money and effort and made it work. I say this not only because of the photos but the memories we created taking them.  These photos represent a snapshot of our lives (literally and figuratively) in a time when we were working through a really crazy world together as a team.  They illustrate learning how to love each other during a quarantine.  They represent the excitement of planning a beautiful wedding that we will one day get to share with our family and friends (see you in 2021).  They show our laughter, our playfulness and our inability to make normal faces in front of the camera 99% of the time and they document fully just how in love we are in that moment. A moment we will never see again.  I am so grateful it is documented in such a beautiful way.

engagement photo

Life changes.

If you have made it over to my website today, you are probably wondering what the heck is going on in my life and why I left Los Angeles.  Or maybe you are just wondering why I have been completely off the grid for the four weeks.  Haha, I get it! But it happened. And in times of change we sometimes need to take a step back and allow ourselves time to process. So I did exactly that. Now I am ready to share.  

What you are about to read in the next few life update posts I am planning will give you insight.  Although it may seem crazy, it is the right choice for me and I know that.  The hardest part of all of this has been allowing my emotional self to catch up with my cognitive self.  What I mean by that is that even though I know it is the right choice, I needed time to emotionally catch up to what I was choosing. Hence me being off the grid.  I have learned that I can reason my way through most any problem, but being the emotional person I am my heart takes a little longer to adjust.

First, I would be remiss to not start by saying how grateful I am for the time spent in Los Angeles, the opportunities that were given and the people who made it such a special adventure.  It was quite literally the best time of my life.  After spending years in Cleveland learning medicine and also exploring who I was LA was my chance to grow fully into everything I truly am.  It was nothing short of magical.  I experienced more during my short time in LA than in the many years prior by simply feeling like ‘saying yes’ to anything and everything. Yes was always the right answer in LA. The city is such a special place and it will always have an exceptional place in my heart. I will be visiting often.  Who knows where the future will take us right? Better I stay in touch with the magic. 

Loving life this summer in LA.

The reason for leaving is complex. But drilled down when I weighed what I was doing against who I wanted to be something was maligned.  I have always believed you must follow your gut in these moments. You must lean towards who you want to be in this world and fight to go there ferociously.  That gut feeling is a guiding light.  Our instinct.  When who I know I am was clearly at odds with the nuts/bolts aspects of my day to day existence it was time to consider change.  

Lucky for me, my husband and I had started this conversation a while ago and when it came time to pull the plug per-say, we had a plan in motion.  It was a gut wrenching decision (to say the least) and the execution of what happened next moved faster than I could have imagined.  After all was said and done and I was driving away from our little beach home with the last of my belongings in the car (and Francis riding shotgun of course) I felt calm, but also still a little blown away by the fact that I was actually leaving.  


This rushed goodbye was complicated more by COVID-19 (as is everything in life right now).  The usual way I say goodbye would be having having dinners with friends, giving hugs and going to one last hoorah at all my favorite spots in town.  Because of the restrictions and pandemic closures, as well as the safety concern surrounding spread of this miserable virus, I didn’t get to do any of that.  I had to sneak away without a proper goodbye.  And it sucks.  

Last family photo before we drove away

So here we are on the other side of transition. Not much worse for wear- other than poor Francis who despite being a trooper through yet another move/roadtrip/hotel/home experience developed a corneal ulcer and had eye surgery.  We are going on 5 weeks in the dreaded cone, eye drops and medications four times per day.  We are holding it together helped immensely by the fact that I have been able to be home with him during this time.  Let me also say four times a day medications is terrible and I will never prescribe them in the future if other options are available. It’s a full time job to wrangle this wiggly bowling ball of a pup once let alone four times everyday!

Sunbathing in the cone vs new satellite dish?

I am sure the question in your mind is so “what are you doing now?”  Currently, (besides wrangling this pup) I am rebooting.  I am working from home on projects that I need to catch up on.  I am reflecting greater on where I came from and who I want to be.  And I am focusing hard on my future and creating the sort of medical experience I know I want for patients.  I am becoming more me everyday and can’t wait for you all to see it! 

With love and hope,